John F. Kennedy vs Princess Diana is the series premiere and first installment of the Epic Rap Battles of History spin-off series, Slightly Disappointing Rap Battles of History. It features the 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy, rapping against the Welsh Princess, Princess Diana. It was released on February 20th, 2017.
John F. Kennedy
My fellow Americans! Time for something long awaited!
It's time to beat the second Dick i've ever debated!
I'm the Successor of Eisenhower! 35th in Power!
Massachusetts Senator and a Cold War superpower!
I'll choke this parade float hostess into a HALO!
I know how to deal with Europeans! Look at NATO! (Ha!)
I'll faithfully execute you like I swore in my oath!
Your rhymes are ineffective! Like your country's economic growth!
After someone faces death, I learn to repent and respect,
But my death shocked the world! Even Castro wept!
Just like your limo, you're about to get wrecked!
All of your boring ass rhymes is Why England Slept!
I solemnly swear to kick the Kennedy's own asses,
And they'll be splattered in blood like Jackie Onassis!
I'm the People's Princess! I fund Charities and Foundations,
I'm on People Magazine and I can still lead a nation!
All rise for the most overrated President in History.
Whose assassination is "believed to still be a mystery."
I mean it's been 50 years! Why's it still a conspiracy?
Your term lasted only 2 years! I still reign due to tyranny!
Your favorite sex position is called the JFK,
You splatter on her in the car and she tries to get away!
You should lead by the heart! Instead of your head!
But I just remembered they're both why you're dead.
John F. Kennedy
Like Oswald, you gotta aim for a claim to fame!
I can spit more fire than the Eternal Flame!
I'll leave a maim on this dime of a dame!
I'm like 50 Cent! So step up your game!
You're more of a swine than any of your pigs!
I've beat you prematurely! Just like your kids!
My legacy and my reign will forever remain!
This was an assassination and you just got slain!
- John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon appear in an ABC Studio to mock the 1960 Presidential Debate.
- At the beginning of Diana's first verse, she mocks the Presidential Inauguration at Capitol Hill in Washington D.C.
- Paparazzi shows up at Buckingham Palace taking pictures of Diana during her "People Magazine" line.
- Abraham Zapruder shows up in Diana's second verse capturing them rapping in the Texas School Book Depository, to mock the Zapruder film of Kennedy's Assassination.
- Princess Diana totally fucking ripped off Winston Churchill in Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill when she said "I've beat you prematurely, just like your kids!"
- This battle was released on Presidents' Day